shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just want nice things and good sex
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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