do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
