Me too!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
