Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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