She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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