Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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