plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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