I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
