I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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