Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dick very happy bro
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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