We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
