that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
