I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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