Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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