Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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