His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
