All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
