Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Did I show you my penis last night?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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