i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
