I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
