did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
