I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
