I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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