Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
