just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
