return my video game
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
