think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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