Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
