Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
