Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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