so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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