There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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