watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
