Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
