I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
