the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
