I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
