Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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