You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
