and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
