Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
