My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
