You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
