I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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