why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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