So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
