Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
