I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
