Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
