who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
