i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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